Monday, August 27, 2007

Messages

August has been a very trying month for me, to say the least, what with a houseful of people and animals exhibiting strange ailments that I cannot seem to conquer or cure, despite my best efforts. My husband has had an ongoing and exhausting cough (clearing of his throat actually) for nearly four months non-stop and the doctors have failed to diagnose and/or treat it correctly. Putting him through a battery of tests and prescribing myriad drugs for everything from allergies to acid reflux. If anything, his symptoms have worsened.


That being a major issue in our household and if not enough to unhinge a family's sanity at the best of times, both dogs have come down with skin disorders; our little Eskie has a flea allergy that has usually been controlled well with Advantage, however this year his skin rebelled, causing terrible hot spots all over his body. Next, our beloved 12 year old German shepherd was bitten in the face by a spider or hornet, causing a very nasty mark in which her eye and cheek swelled up, bubbled and bled. Finally, our little family cat also has developed a dry skin condition on her back, which must cause her some discomfort although you would never know as she hides it well, as cats tend to do.


In the meantime, I am exhibiting no health related symptoms myself, other than ... well... health. Yet, I've wavered internally back and forthwith unsettling emotions ranging from guilt to incompetence because of my inability to "fix" everyone.


Looking at my situation from an organic level, that deeper place wherein we are all systematically observers of a visceral world, I've considered what is the real purpose here; What is the lesson before me that I've failed to learn, allowing instead my ego to rule the show again by feeding into those feelings of inadequacy as a woman, mother and healer.


I realize I am not responsible for fixing anything externally, however, internally I am responsible for how I feel and how I respond. No one can make you feel anything, as can no situation. Feeling being a response to something, it is clearly my own decision to accept or become upset. If it is true that the subconscious mind projects our thinking and we in turn view the outcome of that thinking as a sort of 3D movie that we live and move in, then I have somehow "welcomed" the situation, if not actually created it, even. I can't help but wonder if I am able to understand the true meaning of each expression of disease, will they miraculously be healed. Is that possible?

I decided it was best to detach myself from outcomes, yet to dig in with my logic and analysis skills, leaving emotion to the wind, as best I could. Extremely difficult for a Pisces but not impossible!

I spent several hours at the health food store picking through juices and elixirs and herbs, reading labels and asking questions of the staff. $75 later ... I came home with a battery of ammunition in the form of Tea Tree Oil, Mangosteen juice, Aloe Vera juice, Magnesium, and various herbal tinctures and remedies to try on the entire family. I bathed the little Eskie in oatmeal shampoo, brushed him out beautifully and treated his spots. He slept most of the afternoon and seemed so peaceful. My husband was also a great sport and downed all of my remedies. It will take time to see if they provide him relief, and I am working on letting it be his journey, not mine, and letting go of my attachment to his problem, while nurturing him as much as possible.

These were my thoughts when I was opening the mail and found the most wonderful card I'd ordered from a photographer at etsy.com called Dragon Prints (http://www.dragonprints.etsy.com/. The photograph was of a dragonfly in flight; a male widow skimmer ... absolutely stunning, close up photography. But since I'd mentioned to the artist that I ordered the card to frame it, he also sent me a beautiful glossy photo so I could do both! I was touched.

Needing to make a grocery run this very afternoon, I left the mail on the table and headed off. As I got into my car, something surreal happened... a dragonfly... this time a real one ... flew up to my car window and looked in at me. A gorgeous fellow at least 4 inches in length with iridescent wings and body and huge eyes. He zoomed around my car several times and even straight at the windshield to hover and look at me. I rolled down my windows and he came up to have a look, even lowered his legs as if he might land. The hair stood up on the back of my neck at this point, feeling for sure there was a message here. He maneuvered in the air around my car looking in my window, the windshield, the passenger window and even the sunroof. As I slowly backed out of the driveway, he followed. Just as suddenly as he appeared out of nowhere, he was gone.

I still can't help but think I've experienced something magical. It is said that dragonflies and frogs are the only two creatures that continually pass back and forth between the void to the higher vibrational dimension of the fairy kingdom. I, who have had the ability and privilige of seeing fairies on occassion, realized I'd just received an invitation to explore something deeper. Something about myself. I've heard that because the dragonfly lives two lives, that of a nymph in water, and that of the winged-dragon himself, such a sighting means positive changes are occurring. Could it be a confirmation that by letting go of my attachment to outcomes, I have released a past part of myself in order for someone new to emerge? The experience left me with an overwhelming sense of wonderment and joy, if nothing else.

The next few days I will spend preparing for company and will have little time to spend wondering or worrying, other than that special kind of worrying that comes from expecting company! Moving beds, laundering linens, making beds, deep cleaning, buying groceries, mowing lawns ... and trying to create a sense of comfort for weary travelers and hosts alike. Sometime mid September, when the house is empty again and I have quiet time, I will explore all of this in greater detail. In the meantime, I will keep an eye out for my dragonfly friend.

But for now, it is late now and I am off to bed to sleep. Perhaps I will consider my day and my dragonfly before I fall asleep to dream, and if I'm lucky, my dreams will be filled with answers.

~L

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

pure imagination

Is it possible the world we see is of our own making? The science of quantum physics tells us that subatomic particles respond in direct correlation to the intention, or desired outcome of the observer. Does that mean that whatever we truly want will become manifest? Consider a time when you've been really interested in something, say arrowheads, and everywhere you looked you saw something about arrowheads, or met someone who talked about arrowheads, or a friend of a friend who puts you in touch with a specialist in arrowheads. And as you follow along and pick up each clue toward your dream of owning or studying arrowheads, you are led to yet another clue, and so on, until you're either led to the ultimate arrowhead, or else, you stop taking steps towards the next clue and your "leads" stop coming. This idea of a "servant" universe is the very subject of the movie The Secret that's been so much talked about lately ...by just about everyone it seems, including Oprah!

So we learn about The Secret and we decide we'll start focusing on that $10M home we've been dreaming of, and fame and fortune, a huge bank account, love, a baby ... whatever it might be. But nothing happens, except the usual bills, car breakdowns, work place relationship difficulties and physical ailments. How come?


Because just as in the old movie The Forbidden Planet, there's a caveat ... and that is we must first gain control of our subconscious mind in order to benefit from the outcome of choice, or else we continue to manifest the monsters of the Id.*

Like an ocean-going vessel without a captain, continually taking on additional passengers, adrift on the high sea... and going any which way but loose, is our vast and powerful subconscious mind. It might also be likened to a huge vending machine, as it is pumps out the physical world we see, based upon our expectations, quantum physics! And it makes me wonder, if I hit this button, will I really get M&M's or some icky candy I absolutely hate!

More than likely, the icky candy. What manifests for most of us are our worries and fears, because those are the things we tend to focus our thinking on, despite not wanting to. Rarely do we wake in the middle of the night to consider our happy desires, mostly we wake up to worry about money, financial ruin, debt, a white lie that turned into a white elephant, marital problems, whatever, we've all been there. And like a broken record, these are the thoughts that keep replaying over and over on the undercurrents of our mind. Whereas, our dreams which seem distant and beyond reach, the things we hope to obtain... are like pennies in that giant fountain, sinking to the bottom and glittering faintly under gallons of undulating waves, our worries and insecurities obscuring them. The subconscious mind is directed by our focus, steered by our individual wills (on a worldwide level, our collective wills). It serves up exactly what we want. Wonderful, isn't it? Magical, in fact! So how do we fix it?

Despite what we may think, it doesn't need fixing, because it runs perfectly! We just don't know how to work it very well. The reason it seems to have run amuck is because we're letting it. There's no one at the helm but our crazy, unfocused thinking. And most of us aren't willing to do the work required to control it. Just consider the conscious mind, close your eyes and try to focus (meditate) on one thing for 10 minutes, without allowing the mind to wander. Focus on the word, Love, for instance. It truly requires a feat of the will. Much like a television remote control gone haywire, it's nearly impossible to stop switching channels and thinking about the laundry, bills, checking email, "oh this is a waste of time!", and myriad other mindless things! Even if you say the word over and over again, if you pay closer attention, you'll see undercurrents of all sorts of thoughts going on below the part of your mind that is saying the word Love over and over again. It's a wonder we get anything done with so much disconnected thinking going on!

So, how does one begin to control that vast storehouse of creative energy, including navigating memory banks filled with traumatic experiences our conscious mind has been spared? Throughout the ages, avatars (the Christs, the Buddhas, the Masters) of all religions who have "overcome the world" have been telling us .... but we evidently don't hear so well! The key is meditation! In every conceivable way, each have reitterated, "Your prayers go unanswered because you pray amiss. Go inside your room, alone, close your door, close your eys, sit quietly, in earnest, listen; "Be Still and Know that I Am God."

Meditation is a process of prolonged focus. A method of training the mind, so that instead of it controlling us, we control it and use it as the incredible, creative tool it was meant to be. It's like learning to drive a car, roughly. Up to now, only a few individuals have learned to master their "cars" ... most of us go around blindfolded, and the outcome is something like a bumpercar rally! Moreover, If one master's this practice of prolongued looking inward, they are bound to find more than themselves, more than self mastery, even. It is very possible and probable to directly experience God.

All that said, it is one thing to understand the concept of meditation on an intellectual level, it is another to do it. It is truly an art. It requires determination and discipline. But mastery is possible:

Begin with 5 minutes in the morning, and 5 minutes in the evening. Focus on your breathing, on a speck of white light in your mind's eye, on a word or phrase, "I Am Love" .... "God Is." Or simply take a stance of gratutide and listen for 5 minutes. Try to listen to the silence around you, your ears might pop, you might feel a gentle clicking inside your skull; new muscles being stretched. You'll be intrigued. Each time you find undercurrents of disjointed thinking... your mind wandering, note them with your attention and send them gently on their way, each time returning to your focus. It may be confounding initially. Try to relax with it. You'll find it gets easier and easier as the days go by. You'll find it spills over into your daily life, in that you have renewed ability to focus, your memory will improve and your ability to solve problems will increase tenfold. Answers will come to you easily. And little things will begin to happen that are in alignment with your true desires. Meditation is truly the foundation to creating a beautiful life. You may even discover something about yourself you never knew!

Remember Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka? To follow is one of my favorite pieces of music from that film. It seems that it was written by someone in the know, or perhaps a muse whispered the secret of the ages in the lyricists ear. I leave you with these words to think on....



"Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination"



"Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination"



"We'll begin
With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation"



"What we'll see
Will defy
Explanation"



"If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing to it"



"There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination"



"Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be"



"If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing to it"



"There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination"



"Living there
You'll be free
If you truly
Wish to be"



From: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory [Gene Wilder version]

Music and lyrics: Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newly

Monday, August 20, 2007

a little lesson on REIKI

Seven years ago, I was asked if I would be interested in learning Reiki. My friend's teacher, a Reiki Master, was coming into town from Hawaii for three days and would take a handful of students. I jumped at the chance, thankfully, and in one evening and two days, received the Usui history through the oral tradition, trained in the proper hand placements and obtained my first degree attunements, which include permanent symbols placed in the auric field. My instructions were to use it on myself every night, extending to friends and family if I felt so moved, and waiting until the end of a year before even considering the 2nd degree attunements. I used it on myself diligently. Five years later, I decided to get my 2nd degree attunements, which would not only expand my ability as a conduit of the Reiki energy, but also enable me to perform distance healing.

At this moment, no doubt, some of you may be asking what is Reiki, and so I will explain: Reiki is an ancient healing art which involves the laying on of hands. It was really "discovered" and brought to the people by Dr. Mikao Usui around 1914, following many years of spiritual study, meditation and solitude, seeking an alternative method of healing that he knew the body was capable of. Dr. Usui was endowed with this "energy" during a mystical experience. With the understanding that all of us are capable of being conduits of Reiki, he began attuning others with the symbols he received, and spreading his knowledge through teaching. Despite his Buddhist training, Dr. Usui insisted this energy was not to be compared with any religion or spiritual path, as it is absolutely original in nature. Nor does the "healer" use the Reiki. Rather, Reiki uses the "healer" as a conduit.

Reiki involves a method of placing the hands over the chakras, or the energy centers of the body. There are 7 main chakras in direct proximity to the physical torso, neck and head, as well as others throughout the body and in the aura (extending electromagnetic field). These 7 main centers correspond to the colors of the rainbow, prism or color spectrum and are constantly spinning and drawing energy. Each also corresponds to the organs of the physical body. When they are no longer spinning, there is no life. As we age, the revolutions tend to slow down to a great extent. When they stop, the body dies.

Throughout our lives, these energy centers can become clogged, blocked, leak energy and/or become sluggish to the point of shutting down due to various levels of mental and emotional trauma, which translate to the physical body as illness. Each chakra corresponds to the body on specific physical, mental and emotional levels. Therefore, depending upon the chakra that is involved, which is likely more than one if not all, the ailments may include mental illness, cancer, liver dysfunction, skin problems, migraines ... they run the gamut. All illness begins at the level of mind, therefore has often long begun it's transference to the body before we are ever aware. Catching it at the etheric level, we can enable healing at the root cause. Unfortunately, most illness is never even considered until the body is effected, at which point conventional healing modalities are usually required. Even then, Reiki can bring relief, initiate healing, and even bring about miracles of remission.

Using Reiki does not require that one learn about the chakras, their colors, their correspondences, nor their signatures. All that is required to use Reiki is receiving the appropriate attunements, learning the appropriate hand placements and possessing a clear desire to help, even if you are only using it on yourself.

If you are interested in a Reiki treatment but have put it off because you don't know what to expect, here's how it works. First, the cost of the treatment will fall around $60. One treatment is usually 40 minutes to an hour and sometimes a little longer. You'll be asked to lie down on a massage table face up, to remain fully clothed, and to remove your shoes. Sometimes you may be asked to remove jewelry, but I honestly don't feel that is necessary. A blanket will be placed over you and perhaps a soft pillow under your head. From there ... RELAX, close your eyes if you like. The surroundings are usually very therapeutic including calming music, candles and sometimes aromatherapy. This is not a time for chatting to dissipate nervous energy, the practitioner expects you will relax and be peaceful, so be comfortable in your silence. At the same time, feel free to ask questions if you like.

The practitioner will begin at your head, placing her hands lightly over your crown chakra. I've found this to be the only time you might feel discomfort ... such as a pressure on the top of the head with varying degrees of intensity. The practitioner will move her hands to a new location after about 5 minutes unless she feels the need to remain longer. Her hands will move over your eyes, your ears, your throat, your upper chest (never the breast area), the diaphragm and naval. She will lift her hands and hold them in proximity to the groin area to affect the base chakra, but will not physically touch the groin. She will move down both legs and finally to the bottom of the feet. You may be asked to turn onto your stomach so that she may again work down the back of your body. Men sometimes become sexually aroused during treatment of the sacral and root chakras. Don't be embarrassed. The practitioner expects this and will silently continue with her work.

You will often lay quietly when she is done and be allowed to have ten minutes or so to assimilate the experience and rise when you feel ready. A Reiki treatment is usually deeply relaxing, nurturing, and often stimulating in that you may feel renewed energy. Often clients report a buzzing or fuzzy sensation at a particular place on your body. This is a chakra that has been stimulated. Some people respond with headaches, faintness or nausea the first time, due to the stirring up and cleansing of toxic energy from the chakras. If this is the case, it would do you well to set up a treatment plan with the practitioner until you feel only clear, relaxed, renewed energy.

Most people want to know what's the most amazing thing Reiki can do. I can't really answer that question, because I don't know, except for my own personal experiences. For me, aside from boosting my energy, ridding me of migraines, totally dissipating joint pain and even removing the pain of an abscessed tooth, I have received at least one miraculous healing experience that to this day, I still marvel over. But even at that ... the most amazing thing it can do across the board is bring about a profound sense of well-being.

~L

Thursday, August 16, 2007

live your moments fully

as luck would have it, yesterday evening around 3:00 pm I had just stepped out onto the deck with both birds on my shoulder and settled down to have a cup of tea, when suddenly there came a great explosion (like a very nearby gunshot). Birds fluttered nervously, both dogs barked, the cat disappeared and I heard a colorful array of curses from inside the house coming from my son and husband who's separate Internet connections cut out ... in fact, the entire house had lost electricity. As had the whole neighborhood. The transformer had blown right in front of our house.

Oddly enough, this is the second time this particular transformer has blown. Once before, a visiting squirrel had somehow managed to self-destruct by climbing on the box. We'd heard the blast, and ran outside to see a blackened, smoking squirrel dead at the foot of the power pole. So this time, since we have befriended a wild squirrel "who" we've named and who takes food out of our hands and often lays on the deck with us in the evening stealing cookies and who is, quite frankly, a member of the family, we all raced frantically out the door to see if it was our beloved Vera. But there was no sign of squirrel "tampering". The transformer had just blown for no apparent reason.

I called the power company and they were there fairly quickly. However, as soon as they'd done their job of repairing it and lowered their crane, it exploded again! Right in front of everyone! The linemen were obviously confused and the neighborhood increasingly frustrated. This time, they informed us, we required a new transformer box. We were told it would be several hours before it would be fixed. Disappointment verging on depression set in for all of us way too reliant on technology and each having our reasons why we needed to be on the Internet or watch a certain baseball game or use the oven, even!

But that mindset gradually changed. My son pulled out a book and lay down on the couch to read. My husband and I went out to grab a bite to eat. As the evening wore on, we all ended up out on the deck. It was a glorious evening and the far off sunset had set the clouds ablaze and high overhead a jet liner passed, glistening pink in the glow of the setting sun. The parrots tilted their heads to watch. My son brought out his guitar and we used the gas burner on the barbecue to make tea. The dogs lay around at our feet, pleased by our decision to remain outside and together, the cat sprawled in my husband's lap and soon Vera joined us, the renegade squirrel, "asking" for McVitties Irish biscuits.

As the evening wore on, we sang songs, told stories and lit candles as the night rolled in and darkness engulfed us. A warm, gentle wind picked up and the huge cedars swayed with a comforting swoosh and lull. High above, painted clouds rolled slowly across the sky as the earth went through her rotations. Thoughts of Baseball, video games, TV... were all forgotten. The world had suddenly quieted and settled itself down to a smaller place ...somewhere safe, warm and nurturing, where the intimate bonds of a family, too often forgotten in the loud, busy world, could be experienced and strengthened. I found myself wishing the power would stay off forever.

Sometime around 10:00 p.m. the lights and power came on with a woosh, and excited hoots and hollers from the neighborhood. People gathered on the road to talk to the line-men and thank them. Their boisterous laughter ringing out like beautiful music. This was significant. What had initially been considered a curse and inconvenience had somehow brought about something familial, a sense of difficulty shared and overcome together ... a sense of community.

Today, I'm back on my computer and the electric tea kettle bubbles away and my thoughts are somehow transferred down my arms and flow out my fingers and set this keyboard to clicking, and out there ... the entire world can, if they want, hear me. It is good that we communicate this way. There are those who need to know they are not alone, and this may be the only way for them to connect. I am lucky. Blessed, I say.

And yet, I wonder what we've given up for this ability to connect with an entire world. What do we lose when we attempt to expand ourselves to such extremes. Especially when we can never truly give our whole hearts to the world as we can to our friends and families. How deep and richly patterned our lives become when we return to the fold, when we simplify. These are the experiences of which stories are told and books are written. And so, I learned something. Something I always knew but of course, needed to be reminded of: Real life is a series of incremental, intimate happenings. Don't let them pass you by. Live your moments fully.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

purpose

I began this blog as a vessel for my thoughts in regard to my studies in spirituality and healing modalities and my experiences thereof, and hope to keep lorakellydesigns dedicated to my jewelry business and the "lighter" side of life as a woman, business owner, mother, artist, etc. But how can one really part and parcel out their lives in so many words? If it's anything like my filing systems ... heaven help me! I suppose both posts will inevitably contain all of who I am, and in that case, I can only try my best to focus here on those aspects of my life I wish to examine in more detail.



I began keeping a diary, or journaling as it is now called, when I was a child and have written much of what I've experienced in my life as some form of prose or poetry over the years. Despite what I have been told, I have always known somehow that believing is seeing ... not the other way around. And I am grateful for that innate knowledge as it has been a blessing to me.



When I was a child, I once told my mother about fairies who fluttered above my bed at night and who followed me about the woods. I only remember her response was anger. She was a religious woman, Catholic, and of course she was frightened. Based on her initial reaction, I realized it was best to keep such things to myself. I remember shutting down like a telescope folding in on itself. And for many years I did not see them, as I focused instead on seeing what everyone else saw, what I was allowed and expected to see in order to fit in and win approval.



I became overwhelmingly interested in spirituality at around 21 years old, having had several powerful dreams that brought me to that age old question of seekers everywhere, what am I? I could not find that Self I sought in the Christian Bible, though bits of truth lie there, still I could not condone nor accept an angry, jealous or judgmental God. Much too close to humans who can be so callous, elitist and self involved. I continued to read whatever I could find, and listened to those whom I admired who seemed to hold the secret to happiness, who lived compassionate, humble lives. Mystics, all of different religions, who's ultimate teachings culminated in harmony with one another, and forcing me to one conclusion. Eventually, I would have to go it alone, seeking within and they were right. Only there have I found the truth that resonates with my heart. And I do not believe it to be true, but know it.



I have worked many years in the corporate world, quietly keeping my truth to myself, but sharing love silently and dispersing the energy where it might fall and I have watched it's effects with wonder. On the sidelines, unbeknownst to many, I am also a Reiki practitioner, Tarot reader, Hypnotherapist, student of truth, student of life... and teacher. Yet I don't consider myself a product of the New Age ... nor a product of my environment, for that matter. But rather see myself as a cause of both, understanding with the certaintly that comes from experience, the creative function of thought, and that all that the body sees and experiences is due to our subconscious mind, our guarded and/or unguarded thinking, and what we see, good or bad, is based upon our "perspective" ... or "way" of viewing; and how we feel about what we view, is continually projected back upon us. In otherwords, as we judge, so are we judged.


One thing I have learned to be ultimately true without question; True and lasting change only comes at the level of the unconscious mind, as it continually projects our world. So that is where the work must begin. Self-love is the most important undertaking of all. And so I am on the same journey begun long ago with all of you, for we are one. My own path continues to be one of self discovery, and I understand yours to be the same. My journey and yours includes the healing of an ancient soul that dwells in guilt and forgetfulness. As such, I hope to continually touch upon that deepest part of myself where the wound lies open, and thus to begin to heal it. It is a complex journey of return to that perfect state of peace from whence we have all come, and all, without exception will return. Then again, perhaps we are already there, and all of this is merely a dream.